Category Archives: A to Z Challenge

“You’re Judging Me”

I’ve noticed a trend lately on quite a few blog comments.  There is this quickness to be offended.  Everyone wants to jump up and say, “But, but, you’re judging me!”  That drives me mad!

First off, as the new, proud owner of this here blog, I know first hand that just because a person has a blog that does not make them an expert.  Some random person on the internet posts something that somehow offends you.  Who is this person anyhow?  How can what they think and say really have that much impact on what you choose to do?

Next, there is such a thing as discernment.  I will not entrust my children to just anyone.  Am I judging you for not letting you watch my kids?  Should I even care that I’ve offended you?  That’s called discernment; checking out a situation before putting myself into it.

I won’t use formula.  I’ll make my own before I give my babies anything other than breast milk.  I’m aware that I just offended a whole group of women (if they were reading this anyhow).  Somehow that sparks the biggest, “you’re judging me” round of comments.  In somehow making a decision and making that decision public I’m judging an entire group of the population unknowingly.

How about we agree to disagree, sometimes?  Why can’t we just step back and admire that there are people different from us, who make wildly different choices with their lives.  Instead of being offended or quick to defend ourselves, why can’t we say, “good for you, I’m genuinely happy that way worked for you.”?!  But, instead we say, “Stop judging me”.

Of course, I suppose, I’ve just offended another group of people out there… Oops.

Sumo Wrestlers and Airplane Pilots

My two boys have big dreams (literally).  From the first time they heard the term Sumo Wrestlers they were hooked.  We were flipping through a children’s atlas and there was a little picture over a map of Japan.

“What’s that?” they asked.

“A Sumo Wrestler” I replied.

Now, they both would like to be Sumo Wrestlers.  My oldest explained his reasoning, “I can be fat and wear my underwear to work.”  My 3 year old would simply like to punch people.  Oh, he also wants to be an airplane pilot.  My Husband explained that he’s not sure that he can be so big and be a pilot.  Peek-A-Boo (the 3 year old) said that he would just be a sumo wrestler then poop so he’d no longer be fat.  Then, he could go fly a plane.

I could explain to them all the reasons they couldn’t or shouldn’t follow these dreams.  I could explain that in a year or a month or a day they probably won’t want to be Sumo wrestlers at all.  Shouldn’t I plant them firmly in reality?  I could easily yank them down from the clouds and dash their little dreams.

But, I won’t.

I want them to know that their mama always believes in them.  If they want to dream, I say sounds great!  Let’s find out more about Sumo wrestlers or pilots or fire fighters or whatever!  Let’s fly our imaginary airplanes and stomp around like wrestlers.  Let’s enjoy this moment when you are so innocent and protected that you don’t care how far-out-there your dream is or even what it takes to get there.

For now I tell them to dream and dream big; dream huge even.  Maybe, just maybe, they’ll get to live those dreams.

Persecution & Perspective

I’ve always been drawn to stories of persecuted Christians.  When I was younger I devoured the stories of men like John Wycliffe and William Tyndale.  In more recent years, I’ve been so interested in Pastor Richard Wurmbrand and Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

From my insulated, American lifestyle, persecution is unthinkable.  We get caught up in “Merry Christmas” wars while a Christian woman is being raped with a cattle prod in China.  We get worried about our kids learning about Islam i school while a Christian couple is sentenced to death in Pakistan.

The unfathomable, backwards mentality persecution of followers of Christ is current.  Its NOW, not in the 1600’s.

I highly suggest EVERY Western Christian educate yourself on the cause of martyrs.  Personally, I’m still praying about what God would have my family and myself to do help.  The first thing is praying for the persecuted themselves and the persecutors.  Here are some great resources to get yourself knowledgeable about persecution; past and present:

TFC Book
Click on the picture for a free copy from Voice of the Martyrs 


B
ob Fu and his wife escaped China when they found they were expecting their first child.  It is illegal to get pregnant without permission (even with your first).

Foxe’s Book of Martyrs – John Foxe (free, online reprinting)


I
 first read this as a teenager.  I think its a great introduction for students and teens.

 

 

Order

I like things to be in order… all my ducks in a row… nice, and neat and wonderfully ordered.

Most often my life is anything but ordered.  Yesterday was one such day.  The house was a MESS, I have basic chemistry to study in my anatomy class, the kids tore the already messy living room to shreds, and the baby cried…and cried…and cried.  Yes, I cried a little.  My fridge still has a strange odor coming from it.  I think it has something to do with the fact that my boys keep turning the temperature knob down.  I figure it out when I get ice from the freezer and it’s half melted.

This is sort of a rant, venting from my miserable yesterday.  But, its also a jumping off point for figuring out how to do things differently.  I can’t change those messy, unordered days.  I can change how I deal with it.  For instance, I was a crabby mama.  I was short-tempered and overall not fun.  Today, I regret that, but I can’t change yesterday. I can pick up the pieces (and clean out the fridge!) and move on.

How do you deal with days that go totally opposite of what you planned?

Be {N}ice

How often, as kids, were we told, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?  Now, as a grown-up how many of us need to relearn this sage advice?  It never ceases to surprise me how cruel one spouse can be to another.  And no,  I’m not implying one spouse over another.  Both men and women are equally at fault.

Seriously, we wouldn’t talk to a stranger the way we talk to our husbands or wives!  How hard could it possibly be to say, “Please” or “Thank you”?  Or even refrain from name-calling or gossiping.

I am of the opinion (which isn’t expert by any means) that a whole heck of a lot of marriage problems could be solved if we were just nicer.  Then there’s the, “But, but, you don’t know MY spouse!”

Nope, I sure don’t.

But, I do know that the Bible doesn’t typically have qualifiers like, “be nice only if you’re in a good mood, or your spouse is pleasant all the time, or whatever.”  In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never seen such qualifiers.

I’m not trying to brag, but I have a pretty good marriage.  And a good marriage requires some hard work.  It requires giving up things that you really, really want.  Sometimes it means holding your tongue.  “But, I’m just telling the truth in love!”, some might protest.  There are moments and times to confront your spouse.  Making fun of their weight, baldness, parenting skills, paycheck (or lack thereof) being demanding and crass, gossiping, and overall just not very pleasant  makes for a miserable marriage.

Maybe your marriage or any other relationships need healing.  Kind words go quite a long way in healing.   Do not wait until you feel like it.   Don’t wait until the other person is nice first.  Don’t wait until… whenever you can think.  Just start.  Now!

Here are my absolute favorite marriage resources and have helped My Husband and myself: