I like lists. I like straight forward, how-to’s, that explain step-by-step a process. In some ways this can be a problem (not everything come with a handy manual!). I’ve pulled from a few different places (they can be found on my “Resources” page) and created a nice, clean list of how to approach habit training. Of course with kids things never go nearly as smoothly as a list, but its a start.
#1. Decide which habit to work on. In my case, cleanliness. Clearly define what is meant by that and set a realistic goal. Expecting your 3 year old to clean up toys is realistic. Expecting your 3 year old to color code and alphabetize isn’t too realistic.
#2. Be patient and go slow. Take a breath and relax about the whole process. I get quite excited about a new idea. I will overwhelm everyone in my house with my new idea and I want everyone to love it just the same as I do. I’m even running my sentences together thinking about it! Everything about CM is about taking your time and enjoying the process. Think 6-8 weeks on one habit. That is a long time to spend on one habit. That gives you time to go through each step slowly and excellently.
#3. Help your child(ren) to own this new habit. Explain the importance of doing this new thing. The way I introduced the importance of brushing our teeth is by watching a silly movie together about dental hygiene. We talked about how their teeth are their responsibility. I also explained that they’d regret not taking care of their teeth, they will hurt and look terrible. Also, have your kids give ideas for ways to remember this new habit or creative ways to incorporate it into the day.
#4. Don’t nag! Encourage, don’t nag, your kids about doing this habit. The first three are sort of preliminaries. Now we are in the midst of actually instilling and cultivating these habits in our children. A gentle reminder or encouragement is in order. One thing I have to remember is that I often forget to do something. If it isn’t routine I often skip it, whatever it is. My children are the same way and they are deserving of a mama’s gentle encouragement rather insistent nagging.
#5. Allow natural consequences to help enforce a habit. This is sort of the if – then approach. If A happens (or doesn’t happen) then B happens. Some things happen naturally. If you leave your bike out, then it will get stolen or rusted. In the case of brushing teeth, I’m not going to let their teeth rot. So our natural consequence is if you don’t brush your teeth, then you can’t come down for breakfast. That sounds meaner than it happens! I typically ask, “Did you do everything you needed to upstairs?” If the answer is, “no”, then I send them back up to the bathroom.
I have 3 more bullet points, but this is getting long as it is! I’ll leave it there and come back to it next time.
lifeofholybeauty 